Can Divorce Lawyers Be Peacemakers?

Yes. Divorce lawyers can choose to use the skills that they have gained in law school, and during their careers, to help you reach durable divorce solutions instead of fighting in court.

The divorce attorneys that focus their practice in helping you resolve your divorce without a legal battle are very different than the traditional divorce litigation attorney. The aggressive divorce litigation attorney knows only one way to approach your divorce, in court.

He or she is trained to file a lawsuit against your spouse, fire off legal demands to your spouse’s lawyer, and to initiate a legal battle against your spouse. After the dust settles, he or she may seek to declare you as the “winner” of your divorce 18-24 months later.

This is not the way that I would choose to handle the divorce process if I were in your shoes. This is not the divorce process that I recommend to my friends and family members when they come to me with a divorce problem.

Why Do I Recommend That You Avoid a Court Battle in Your Divorce?

Because you are not looking for a fight.
Because you don’t want to make your spouse suffer.
Because you have a family that you love.
Because you don’t want to cause unnecessary emotional harm to your spouse, your children, if you are a parent, or to yourself.
Because you don’t want to waste time and money fighting in Court for over a year.
Because you are looking for solutions, not for more problems.

Instead, I Recommend the Private Out of Court Collaborative Divorce Option to my Friends and Family Members. Why?

Because you are looking for help to resolve your divorce, not a fight.
Because the relationships in your family matter.
Because you are not ending the relationships in your family, you are changing them.
Because, if you have children, you want to protect them from the emotional harm that accompanies a nasty divorce.
Because you want your lawyer, and the professionals that you work with, to treat you and your family with respect.
Because you are looking for a fixed fee and not an unknown hourly agreement.
Because you want to be in control of the decisions that are made in your divorce.
Because you want to protect your privacy – your finances and family solutions to divorce should be private, not available for public viewing in court files.
Because you want custom solutions that are decided upon and agreed to by your family, not authoritarian judgments handed down to you by a judge that you have never met.