Who Gets The House In a Divorce?

January 15, 2024 | Chad Layton Divorce Attorney, Collaborative Divorce, mindful divorce
By: Chad Layton, Esq.

Collaborative Divorce: Interest Based Negotiation vs. Position Based Negotiation

Interests are different from positions. A position generally has only one possible answer – who will get the house? Me or my spouse.

An interest has a number of possible answers – I want to receive the house in our divorce because:

it’s close to our children’s school;
it’s close to my work;
my parents live in the neighborhood;
our monthly mortgage payment is low;
I don’t have the income necessary to qualify for a new mortgage;

When we listen, and work to identify the interests of you and your spouse, we are able to form a basis to create many different settlement options that satisfy the needs of both of you. We can work to create a fair solution.

We don’t have to limit our solutions to I win, you lose.

The Collaborative divorce process helps us to create fair and amicable settlement agreements that address the goals, concerns, and interests of you and your spouse.

This is drastically different than the litigated approach to divorce, which pits you against your spouse. The positional litigation approach often times results in a long drawn-out legal battle over your home, your retirement accounts, or some other issue. Litigation does not provide you with the tools that you need to stop and listen to your spouse, and to your professional team to explore the interests behind why you or your spouse really wants or needs the house, or a specific retirement asset, or financial support, or a certain time-sharing schedule with your children, or some other outcome.