“Children are particularly vulnerable to becoming the targets of the projection of our nonconscious emotions and unresolved issues.” – Dr. Daniel Siegel
During a divorce, parents are navigating difficult emotional waters. Parents are often susceptible to forgetting about the importance of the child’s experience alongside their own.
There are ways to guide your children through this turbulent time that can set them up for a healthier experience. At our office, we work with you to help you create a different, healthier divorce process and experience for your family.
What are the Top 3 Goals for Parents in Divorce?
- Secure – Though the family is enduring a time of change and the structure may not look the same, it is important to create a strong, secure base for the child. Ensuring a child that they are safe, loved, and supported, even amidst familial turbulence is vital.
- Validate – Children need you to create space for their big feelings. Sometimes these feelings feel foreign to the child, and they need to know that you can handle them – that they are not too much for you. When you interact with these feelings, remember to validate your child’s experience. For example, “I hear that you are feeling really angry and sad, that makes a lot of sense. What else are you feeling? I can take it.”
- Repair – The divorce experience can often cause ruptures in relationships, especially with parent-child relationships. Ruptures create opportunities for repair! Instead of sweeping it under the rug, name what happened, take responsibility, and ask what your child needs from you. The repairs you make with them are actively modeling safe and healthy relationships.
I hope that this helps you, or someone that you know, to reduce the negative consequences of divorce on their minor children.
If you, or a friend of yours, has questions about out of court divorce options, that include divorce mediation, or collaborative divorce in Palm Beach County, we are here to help.
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