DON’T TRY TO WIN YOUR DIVORCE

Sometimes our first reaction is not the best solution.  If you are contemplating divorce, deciding to go on the offensive, or to start a war against your spouse in divorce court is very likely not your best option.

I have been through hundreds of divorce litigation cases.  It is very rare that either spouse “wins” one of these cases.  

In the rare event that you believe that you will in fact “win” your divorce, I would urge you to consider what the “win” will cost you.  

Divorce Costs I Often Discuss with Clients are:

• Emotional/Family/Relationships
• Financial
• Time

Emotional Costs:

If you decide to do everything in your power to “win” your divorce, and to assure that your spouse “loses”, this will invariably cause long term damage to your relationship with your spouse, and long-term damage to other relationships in your family.  If you are a parent, it is even more important to consider what is at stake.  School graduations, weddings, grandchildren, and many other life events will be shared with your spouse, regardless of your marital status.  

Taking the time to work through your divorce with respect, dignity and compromise, will pay a lifetime of dividends.

Financial Costs:

If you decide to use the courtroom to resolve your divorce problems, this will be your most expensive option in my experience.  This is likely not a surprise to you.  Most of us know someone that has been through the divorce from hell, and it cost them well into the six figures for legal fees and expenses.  Litigating in court is very hard, tedious and expensive work.  

Working with trained collaborative divorce professionals outside of court is not cheap, however, it is a much lower cost than going to a trial.   

Time Costs:

Time is outside of your control if you decide to go to court for your divorce.  You will be at the mercy of the Florida Family Law Rules of Procedure, the availability of the Judge whom you are assigned, the availability of your attorney, and the availability of your spouse’s attorney.  This will put you in a position to very likely be waiting for court dates and discovery deadlines.  

A realistic timeline may be 12-24 months in court.

If you decide to work outside of the courtroom, you may expect a 4-6 month timeline.

Conclusion:

Not every divorce is the same.  Not every divorce can be resolved outside of the courtroom.  Trust me, I understand these facts well.

However, in my experience, 9 out of 10 times, you will obtain a much better result if you do the hard work to obtain an out of court divorce settlement.

Divorce is not a process where you are best served by slashing and burning.  This is a family matter.  We do care about the other person involved. 

Collaborative divorce provides you with all of the tools that you need to work with trained professionals to reach a durable and fair solution.

I hope that this information helps you or someone that you know to resolve their divorce outside of court, with peace and respect.  

If you, or a friend of yours, has questions about collaborative divorce in Palm Beach County, we are here to help.

Helpful  Resources:

Mindful Divorce Services – Fixed Fees

Florida Academy of Collaborative Professionals

Florida Family Law Forms